Tag Archives: love yourself

Be real. Be authentic. Be YOU!

Hey guys! Long time no see?  :))))look-at-all-this-good-food-i-cant-eat Yes, I’ve been MIA but it’s been for very good reasons.

I’ve actually accomplished a lot over the past few months, and I really needed to stay focused. Blogging just had to take the back burner for some time being. I took two virtual classes over summer (and passed with A’s – go me!!!), got braces (*cries*), chopped half my hair off, and poured out chapter after chapter of a book I’m currently working on.

Yes, I’ve accomplished a lot!

I’ve also started my sophomore year in high school and it’s been pretty good so far!

Going back to school has made me come to several realizations. For example, the realization that I’m no longer the youngest in school (good-bye freshman year) and of course, the realization that the cafeteria food just isn’t very good (yep, no change there).

I’ve also discovered that I have a lot of pet peeves. And when I say a lot, I mean a LOTsharpay-meme!

They range from topics of bullying and judging others to simple things such as pouring your cereal into the bowl before pouring the milk, and making sure to never pair orange with pink when coordinating outfits.

For today’s blog post, I’d like to talk about one particular pet peeve. It’s been something that’s been on my mind for quite some time.

It’s about being authentic, being genuine.

Being real.

Now, I know a few of you are probably going “Ahem, I am indeed flesh and blood ma’am”, however, that’s not the kind of real I’m talking about here.

Being real sometimes just isn’t that easy, unfortunately. And it’s all because of the society we have created. There are so many reasons why many of us choose to not be real.

In my perspective, being “real” consists of two main qualities. These are honesty and authenticity.

keep-calm-and-be-honest#1: Honesty

Being honest is such an important quality to being real. Honesty is the setting stone and foundation for “trust” and “trust” is the setting stone and foundation to friendship.

I personally feel as though I’m being fake whenever I tell even the tiniest of fibs, things such as “no mom, I don’t have any homework,”  or “yeah, I totally took my vitamins today”. Even though honesty is something I’m still working on in certain areas of my life (I really don’t like taking vitamins), I feel like I can’t stress its importance enough.

But think about it for a moment.

If you aren’t honest, how do you expect others to be honest with you?

If you aren’t honest, how can you be a good friend to someone, or even trustworthy, towards those you care for?

To be real, you have to be honest. Honest with yourself, and honest with who you are as a person.

And if you’re unable to be honest, it’s important to take some time to figure why that is the case. Take some time to journal about it, maybe talk to a close friend or a family member about it. Reflect on your feelings and figure out why it may be challenging for you. Sometimes it just has to do with giving yourself permission to BE yourself, and allowing others to see you for who you really are. Our society doesn’t make it easy, which leads to the second quality I’d like to talk about.

#2: Authenticitysay-what-you-feel-its-not-being-rude-its-being-real

Authenticity is another important factor in being real. And what I mean by being authentic is not being fake.

I’ve become very outspoken and blunt over the course of months. Personally, I prefer not to talk about anyone behind their backs nor engage in those types of conversations (gossiping about someone). What I’m saying is, when I don’t feel comfortable around someone or I don’t like them, I choose to let that person know directly why I may be unhappy versus gossiping about them behind their backs or telling others negative things about them. In my opinion, this is the best way to be authentic, and the way I choose to do so.

And choosing to be authentic and honest (yes, I can indeed tie my points together 🙂 ) with someone is a much better feeling than being fake.  I feel like a better person, and it makes me feel good to be myself.

I do know that it’s hard sometimes because people around you – and society – make you feel like you have to be someone you’re really not. And it’s so normal these days to be indirect.

be-real-be-yourself-be-unique-be-true-be-honest-be-humber-be-happyBut… telling the truth, being honest about how you feel, and being authentic 100% of the time is giving yourself permission to be your own truth. You have a right to be yourself, regardless of what anyone says or thinks of you. I feel like these are the basics that we all expect everyone to give to us (honesty and authenticity), yet we choose to not BE this ourselves. Makes sense?

Be real.

Be authentic.

Be you! 

Don’t pretend. It will honestly make your life so much easier (I’m speaking from experience) and you’ll be a much HAPPIER person in general. You’ll feel better about yourself, and you’ll notice that you’re making a difference by simply being you.

Now it’s your turn to share. Do you consider yourself a real person? If yes, why? And if not, what exactly is holding you back? Are you afraid of being judged? Are you afraid of not being accepted for who you are?when-your-favorite-blogger-doesnt-post-on-time

Share your experience in the comments below and let’s discuss!

Until next time (hopefully soon 😉 )!

~ Rina Raj

 

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Being Suicidal Isn’t Craving Attention, It’s Craving Redemption

Hi everyone! Welcome to my first official Typical Tuesday blog post! 🙂

Recently, I encountered a situation involving a person very close to me. I felt the need to write about it because I’ve seen many of these situations before, and mostly all of them have dealt with people in my inner circle.

These people have felt so unvalued, unloved and unimportant that they resorted to believing that the world would be a better place without them.

it can't rain foreverSadly, I’m talking about people who are suicidal.

For those of you who aren’t familiar with the term, suicide is the act of taking your life voluntarily, or ending your life. Believe it or not, the highest suicide rates and suicide attempt rates are between the ages of 15-24, so this topic applies to teens.

Now, the first reaction that some of my suicidal friends have received when they attempted to talk to family members or other close friends about their situation was merely, “You want to kill yourself? Gosh, you’re stupid. You need to get over it . You just want attention.” This is one reason why some teens who are suicidal pretend, or think, that they’re fine.im fine

Suicidal people don’t want to end their life because they’re “stupid” or “just want attention”. They just want to stop feeling like everything is their fault and that the world would be better without them.

They want to stop crying late into the night, and feeling that sinister urge to hurt themselves.

They want to end the pain they feel every second of every day, and stop letting themselves be pushed to the bottom feeling as though they’re a “nothing”.

They want to feel important and as though people care about them. I should know having watched one of my closest friends go through this.

A few years ago, one of my dear friends was completely and utterly depressed. She felt as though no one cared about her and no one would bat an eye if she was to disappear.

i know your notShe shared that she would cry herself to sleep and dreaded waking up to go face the world the next day.

At school, she’d smile and laugh and smile some more, but no one could see past the mask and into her soul where everything was hurting and everything was breaking.

Every push and every insult from anyone would pull her to the back of her mind, where all the empty words had drifted. And they’d hit her like reality, so she’d hurt herself.

Her thought process was always that the tears would hurt more than the blade across her wrist, and that the sting was a way to get all the emotions out.

For anyone reading this, if you’re experiencing the same or feel the need to hurt yourself – please don’t do it.

There are other ways to deal with the emotions and release the pain other than embedding a scar into your skin, or taking a drastic chance. You can write about it to express your feelings, or you can seek counseling. My friend’s personal choice was writing music.

From listening to some of her music, I gathered that the depression was slowly fading and that she was coming to the point where music was becoming therapeutic for her.

She shared that her depression and suicidal thoughts slowly came to an end when her family, and a few of her friends, threw her a surprise birthday party. focus on what matters

The surprise party helped her realize that even though she couldn’t always see it, people did care about her.

When she went to sleep that night, she promised herself that she wasn’t going to hurt herself anymore. She wasn’t going to believe that she didn’t matter to anyone just because certain people didn’t care.

And even though there were always going to be others that wanted to make her feel small and enjoyed watching her break, there were supporters who wanted to see her succeed and valued her for the person she was.

In all honesty, it doesn’t matter what others think of you. All that matters is what you think of yourself. As long as you believe you are worth it, you are beautiful, intelligent and talented, you can pull through anything.

I myself have battled with depression at one point, but I’ve been able to overcome it with the right support system. Also, helping my friends get through their dark times reminded me to never allow depression to take me down that road.

I have another friend who was also depressed and suicidal and her reason was because she felt she was not beautiful. She is absolutely gorgeous by the way, but of course she was not joking and was serious about how she felt about herself.

After a month of listening to her rant and rave, I took her to the bathroom and asked her to look into the mirror.

“Rina, I just see mthe mirror can liee. And it isn’t a nice view.”

“Shut up, you’re gorgeous, but that doesn’t matter, okay? Look past your face. What do you see?”

“I don’t know what you want me to do.”

“Well, I see an awesome girl with a great sense of humor and intelligence. I also see talent. Loads and loads of talent. I see confidence, but it’s hiding way deep down in there. I see a ton of people who care about you and who love you for reasons other than your face. I see you.”

“Rina, I hope you know you just described yourself.”

*Facepalmits gonna be okay*

It took her a while to accept the fact that not only was she beautiful on the outside, but on the inside as well.

If you can relate and feel you are not pretty, or handsome…

Walk over to the nearest mirror right now. Look into it. Smile and say “Hey there beautiful (or handsome)!”

You akeep holding onre important.

You are loved.

You are valued.

You are beautiful!

You may have a little trouble seeing it from time to time but, just keep doing it. Eventually you will see that truth and you will believe it.  😉

Until next time!

~ Rina Raj

Sources:  https://www.afsp.org/understanding-suicide/facts-and-figures