Tag Archives: beauty

“Self confidence is the best outfit…”

hello aprilHey guys! Happy April 🙂

This past month has consisted of reading about a guy stuck on a lifeboat with a tiger (the book is called Life of Pi, or should I say, Life of Die… *ba dum tss*), performing at MPA for chorus (and receiving a superior rating!!!), lots of writing (this book isn’t going to finish itself), spring break, meeting Lilly Singh aka Superwoman (AHHH!), performing in my first ever theatre production, getting inducted into Thespians (basically, the honor society for theatre… aka the dark side) and struggling with my self confidence.

Yes. Confidence. IMG_6656

The thing every girl thinks she has until…

You aren’t pretty.”

You need to put some makeup on.

She’s hotter than you.”

No one wants to date you.”

Lose some weight.”

I’m prettier than you are.

You aren’t good enough.

haters gonna hate potatoes gonna potateI know. It seems unreal that girls still get put down like that, but it happens. And from personal experience, allow me to say that it truly does suck.

All throughout freshman year, I struggled tremendously with self love. I didn’t feel comfortable going to school without contacts and eyeliner on, and “pretty” wasn’t a thing I considered myself to be.

Going into sophomore year, I was determined to love myself more and be confident in how I looked, regardless of what I was wearing.

I made a conscious effort to look in the mirror everyday and learned to love what I saw, whether it be a really tired Rina with glasses on, or a Rina with some really nice eyeshadow and a smile. Would you believe it worked?! I was happy with myself and I felt good starting my days.

But of course, this didn’t last for long.theres no need to be perfect to inspire others let others get inspired by how you deal with your imperfections

About a month ago, someone at school called me ugly and told me I was “the most unwanted girl on the planet”. And I hate to admit it, but I let this person’s comment affect the confidence I had built up.

I no longer felt good about myself.

When I looked in the mirror, I detested what I saw and I desperately wanted to change my appearance. After months and months of telling myself I was beautiful and strengthening my self love, I didn’t think I was good enough.

My negative mindset tore me down and caused me to become super insecure. This led up to a really rough night I experienced just a couple weeks ago.

I was feeling especially horrible about myself and when a certain someone made a comment about how my achievement wasn’t a real achievement, I was pushed over the edge. In the moment, I felt like no one cared about me and I could not stop crying. I started wishing that I was better looking, more talented and anything but myself.

I was upset because certain people didn’t like me, but I was oblivious to all of the people who do.

we get so worried about being pretty lets be pretty kind pretty funny pretty smart pretty strongThat night, I vented to three close friends about how I was feeling, and each of them comforted me the best they could. I’d like to share a bit of what they said to me.

Friend #1:Rina, you’re very strong and level headed. Even though I haven’t known you for long, you’re one of the greatest friends I’ve had and you really understand me. You’re the friend that I needed at this point in time and you have no reason to be insecure when you’re such a great person. And if other people can’t see that, so what? To be honest, the only opinion that matters about you is your opinion.

Friend #2:Rina, it’s okay. You’re self confidence does not need to be affected by anyone, alright? You are such a great person and you have me to support you and you have [Friend #1] to support you and you have your other friends to support you. You are good enough, I promise, and there are people who see that and people who don’t. You don’t deserve to feel this way. Thank you so much for your friendship and for being a part of my life. You are good enough, and it doesn’t matter if other people don’t see that, because I do. And so should you.its nice to be told

Friend #3:First off, you’re gorgeous. Second, why does it matter? You are so strong and always such a positive person, and there is no way that one stupid comment should ruin all of that for you. There are so many people who look up to you and who want to be as inspiring as you are. Sure, pretty is great, but it is in no way as important as being the amazing friend that you are.

its not your job to like me its mineMy friends brought a lot of things to light for me. Why wasn’t I paying attention to my opinion of myself instead of focusing on everyone else’s? Why couldn’t I see that I was good enough? And why did it matter that not everyone found me “pretty” when there are more important things than appearance?

The answer is simple: I hadn’t learned how to love all of my flaws.courage is accepting that you're full of flaws and learning to love each and every one of them

When mastering my self confidence earlier this year, I’d focused on loving the physical aspects of myself, but not my personality.

There, mis amigos, is the issue. I’d claimed to love myself, but I didn’t. And because I didn’t love myself, the fact that others didn’t love me was an issue.

This is something common with almost every teenage girl nowadays. We are so caught up in our looks and what others think of our physical appearance that we forget beauty isn’t just about how pretty we are. We are so caught up in making sure others like us that we forget to like ourselves.beauty isn't about having a pretty face it is about having a pretty mind a pretty hears and most importantly a pretty soul

The day you are able to see your flaws and love them is the day that you will truly be happy with who you are.

Recently, I’ve noticed that as I grow to love different aspects of myself, certain people don’t like me anymore. That’s going to happen. But the day I learn to love myself fully is the day the right people will love me. I’m going to be judged no matter what I look like and what my beliefs are, but I won’t be loved by the right people until I’ve learned to be myself and love who I am.there is nothing more rare nor more beautiful than a woman being unapologetically herself comfortable in her perfect imperfection to me that is the true essence of beauty

In other words, if someone doesn’t like you for who you are, then they aren’t someone you need in your life. When you are yourself, the right people will like you.

Be yourself. Be confident. Love your flaws.

Your flaws make you who you are.

And you are beautiful.

Until next time,

~ Rina Raj

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Being Suicidal Isn’t Craving Attention, It’s Craving Redemption

Hi everyone! Welcome to my first official Typical Tuesday blog post! 🙂

Recently, I encountered a situation involving a person very close to me. I felt the need to write about it because I’ve seen many of these situations before, and mostly all of them have dealt with people in my inner circle.

These people have felt so unvalued, unloved and unimportant that they resorted to believing that the world would be a better place without them.

it can't rain foreverSadly, I’m talking about people who are suicidal.

For those of you who aren’t familiar with the term, suicide is the act of taking your life voluntarily, or ending your life. Believe it or not, the highest suicide rates and suicide attempt rates are between the ages of 15-24, so this topic applies to teens.

Now, the first reaction that some of my suicidal friends have received when they attempted to talk to family members or other close friends about their situation was merely, “You want to kill yourself? Gosh, you’re stupid. You need to get over it . You just want attention.” This is one reason why some teens who are suicidal pretend, or think, that they’re fine.im fine

Suicidal people don’t want to end their life because they’re “stupid” or “just want attention”. They just want to stop feeling like everything is their fault and that the world would be better without them.

They want to stop crying late into the night, and feeling that sinister urge to hurt themselves.

They want to end the pain they feel every second of every day, and stop letting themselves be pushed to the bottom feeling as though they’re a “nothing”.

They want to feel important and as though people care about them. I should know having watched one of my closest friends go through this.

A few years ago, one of my dear friends was completely and utterly depressed. She felt as though no one cared about her and no one would bat an eye if she was to disappear.

i know your notShe shared that she would cry herself to sleep and dreaded waking up to go face the world the next day.

At school, she’d smile and laugh and smile some more, but no one could see past the mask and into her soul where everything was hurting and everything was breaking.

Every push and every insult from anyone would pull her to the back of her mind, where all the empty words had drifted. And they’d hit her like reality, so she’d hurt herself.

Her thought process was always that the tears would hurt more than the blade across her wrist, and that the sting was a way to get all the emotions out.

For anyone reading this, if you’re experiencing the same or feel the need to hurt yourself – please don’t do it.

There are other ways to deal with the emotions and release the pain other than embedding a scar into your skin, or taking a drastic chance. You can write about it to express your feelings, or you can seek counseling. My friend’s personal choice was writing music.

From listening to some of her music, I gathered that the depression was slowly fading and that she was coming to the point where music was becoming therapeutic for her.

She shared that her depression and suicidal thoughts slowly came to an end when her family, and a few of her friends, threw her a surprise birthday party. focus on what matters

The surprise party helped her realize that even though she couldn’t always see it, people did care about her.

When she went to sleep that night, she promised herself that she wasn’t going to hurt herself anymore. She wasn’t going to believe that she didn’t matter to anyone just because certain people didn’t care.

And even though there were always going to be others that wanted to make her feel small and enjoyed watching her break, there were supporters who wanted to see her succeed and valued her for the person she was.

In all honesty, it doesn’t matter what others think of you. All that matters is what you think of yourself. As long as you believe you are worth it, you are beautiful, intelligent and talented, you can pull through anything.

I myself have battled with depression at one point, but I’ve been able to overcome it with the right support system. Also, helping my friends get through their dark times reminded me to never allow depression to take me down that road.

I have another friend who was also depressed and suicidal and her reason was because she felt she was not beautiful. She is absolutely gorgeous by the way, but of course she was not joking and was serious about how she felt about herself.

After a month of listening to her rant and rave, I took her to the bathroom and asked her to look into the mirror.

“Rina, I just see mthe mirror can liee. And it isn’t a nice view.”

“Shut up, you’re gorgeous, but that doesn’t matter, okay? Look past your face. What do you see?”

“I don’t know what you want me to do.”

“Well, I see an awesome girl with a great sense of humor and intelligence. I also see talent. Loads and loads of talent. I see confidence, but it’s hiding way deep down in there. I see a ton of people who care about you and who love you for reasons other than your face. I see you.”

“Rina, I hope you know you just described yourself.”

*Facepalmits gonna be okay*

It took her a while to accept the fact that not only was she beautiful on the outside, but on the inside as well.

If you can relate and feel you are not pretty, or handsome…

Walk over to the nearest mirror right now. Look into it. Smile and say “Hey there beautiful (or handsome)!”

You akeep holding onre important.

You are loved.

You are valued.

You are beautiful!

You may have a little trouble seeing it from time to time but, just keep doing it. Eventually you will see that truth and you will believe it.  😉

Until next time!

~ Rina Raj

Sources:  https://www.afsp.org/understanding-suicide/facts-and-figures