Category Archives: Parents

Amy’s Dad Dilemma – What Would YOU Do? P.2

Hey everyone! Let’s take a trip down memory lane. Some of you may remember my good friend Amy and her summer dilemma regarding her father (read Amy’s Summer Dilemma – What Would YOU Do?).

To sum it up, Amy had a situation with her father during the summer and in the end, she decided it would be best to not visit him when the summer was over. Well, Amy needs our help once again.

After the situation occurred during the summer, Amy decided to write her father a letter in order to express her feelings to him.

At first, Amy’s attempted letters were ruthless attacks, offensive just me when i finish a letter at 3 amlanguage and resulted in lots of tears. Amy then changed her mind about writing a letter since she was expressing too much negativity. But then one night, she had a sudden inspiration.

She wrote a two page letter to her father.

The letter took her a total of 3 hours to finish.

After writing the letter and mailing it, Amy’s dad called to speak with her sister, Sarah. After the conversation, Sarah informed Amy that their father said he had not opened Amy’s letter, nor did he plan to.dear music i will never be able to thank you enough for always being there for me

Amy felt like an idiot for convincing herself that her time and effort spent writing this letter was going to pay off. She wanted to express herself in a peaceful manner, letting him know how she had felt and that she loved him.

But now, she felt even more upset.

After weeks went by, Amy was able to brush it off and focus solely on her summer camps and song writing.

The summer ended and the new school year began. Amy began conversing with her stepmother. One day, her stepmom called to share the big news.

its a girlAmy was going to be a big sister.

At first she was extremely excited and started mentally planning out the baby shower, the cute little outfits she could save up to get for her little sister. And then it hit her like a bus.

How was she going to see the baby, and help with the shower, if she and her father weren’t speaking?

After coming to this realization, Amy found it hard to be excited about the new baby. She decided not to worry about it too much and figured this situation with her dad wouldn’t drag on forever. Eventually, everything would be okay.

Well, months went by.

i try to act like it doesn't bother me but my dad not caring makes me more upset than i like to admitOne evening, Amy volunteered at Sarah’s concert. And Amy’s father attended. When he approached the entrance way with Amy’s stepmom, Amy felt her dad didn’t acknowledge her and so Amy didn’t acknowledge him either. Her stepmom was happy to see her and expressed that.

After some time went by (they had to wait outside for a period of time since the concert was already in progress)…

“So, you’re not going to say hello?” Amy’s father was now interested in speaking with her and insisted on doing so, but Amy was in the middle of working at the entrance way.  It was not a good time to talk, Amy needed to stay focused and she expressed that.

Since that evening, Amy has felt confused. Why would she be the one to initiate conversation after not hearing from him?  Now she was ten times more confused.

when people treat you like they don't care, beleive themAmy has asked many of us for advice and the responses are typically, “He’s your dad.”

Amy couldn’t take it anymore and recently, she lost it.

“My dad? Of course he’s my dad, but has he raised me? Does he support my dreams or does he only care about himself? He has been to only 3 out of my 13 performances, and 1 out of the 5 concerts! And it’s not like he was out of town for all of them. He doesn’t even know me! I’ll bet if I asked him what my favorite color is, he wouldn’t know the answer. I’ll bet if he asked what I wanted from Starbucks and I said “the usual” he wouldn’t come back with the right drink. All he’s ever done is told me what I’m doing wrong and who the heck is he to talk?! But you know what, it’s okay. We have to learn from our mistakes, right? And now I know how NOT to treat a kid.”having kids doesn't make you a father raising them does

Amy is going through a really rough patch right now. She feels like her dad doesn’t care, that he never has.

Her letter was a way to get him to listen to her – without him yelling at her – in hopes to validate her feelings and understand why she wasn’t ready to visit.

As much as my friend pretends that she is fine, it’s easy to tell that she’s not okay. She’s hurting.

I know in time this experience will make her much stronger. But right now, she’s not there yet. She needs encouragement and words of wisdom.

If you were in Amy’s situation, what would YOU do?  Do you have any suggestions or words of advice? Please share in the comments below, I know she would really appreciate it!

Until next time!

~Rina Raj

 

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Amy’s Summer Dilemma – What Would YOU Do?

Hi everyone! Thank you for all the wonderful comments on my last post! 🙂

Recently I encountered a situation that my friend is going through and I just had to write about it. For privacy reasons, I won’t use her name. So lets call her…. Amy.

Amy has big dreams for her future. One of the reasons Amy and I are such good friends is because we are both striving towards the same career goals.

Amy wants to become an actress and a musician. This summer she decided to become a bit more passionate about it by taking several theater camps and joining a band.IMG_1872

Amy’s parents are divorced and so her dad usually takes her most of the summer. A couple of days before school ended, Amy’s dad gave her a very difficult decision to make, and it was a huge surprise to her.

Her dad told her that he wasn’t going to take her to and from the camps, or band practice, and that she had to choose between her family (him) or herself.

Amy’s dad has never been very stable with his schedule and has been cancelling weekends as long as she can remember. So Amy decided to do what her dad always does to her.

She chose herself.

Amy feels like her dad doesn’t support her dreams and her goals for the future. After constantly telling her that she needs to show more passion towards acting and music, her dad makes it seem as though she is selfish for choosing to take summer camps and have band practices while on his time.

This is a big deal to Amy. She feels as though she was making the wrong decision and being selfish for choosing herself over her family.

But in truth, she’s not being selfish at all.

She’s following her heart, and when following your heart, it can nIMG_1875ever steer you wrong (or can it?).

Amy was under the impression that she would still see her dad on the weekends and during the weeks when she didn’t have any camps.

But boy was she wrong.

Amy’s mom received an email from her dad saying that due to the camps and his schedule, he wasn’t going to be taking Amy at all over the summer.

Amy was torn.

That night, she had a mental breakdown and couldn’t stop crying.

She was an emotional wreck for two or three days after, then she decided that she didn’t want to spend her summer in tears. She was going to make the most of it.

She scheduled longer band practices, wrote more songs and did IMG_0775whatever she could to take her mind off of it. Everything except calling her dad.

Amy is at a point where she doesn’t care anymore. She’s made it pretty clear that she’s done with the drama. She’s decided to not call her dad throughout the summer and to just take a break. The thing that shocks both Amy and myself is her contemplation of not visiting her dad for the rest of the year.IMG_1874

After being let down time and time again by her father, on his weekends, Amy’s decided that it’s her turn to choose herself.

She’s going after her dreams, with or without her dad’s support. And I have to give it to her, she’s a strong and talented girl.

Now I have a question for all of you my readers…

IMG_1873If you were in Amy’s position and had to make a choice, what would you do?

Please share your comments in the area below. Amy and I are really interested in reading what you have to share. She could really use some advice and support.

Thank you for reading my blog post everyone. I hope you all are enjoying your summer so far! Until next time!  😀

– Rina Raj

Confessions About Mother

Inspiration 2Today is a special day. Due to the holiday and this being my first blog post, I would like to honor the woman who made this blog possible.

She loves the color red and this really weird drink called Kombucha. She possesses the miraculous ability to light up a room when she walks in, and just by smiling she can make anyone’s day.

Her hobbies include dish washing 101 classes for her daughters and dancing around the kitchen to really loud music with the sliding door open. Her job includes working as a quality assurance specialist (engineer) and being a full time single mom of two.

Two amazing, awesome kids that I just happen to be one of.  😉

This article is dedicated to my crazy, care-free, happy-go-lucky mother.

Inspiration 3Now, I do have to admit that most of the time, my mom annoys me to death. The hour long lectures that I hear almost everyday are definitely not appealing, nor is the whole ‘you will hug me whether you like it or not’ requests. But I can honestly say (or write) that I really do love her. ❤

Usually when my mom asks me if I love her or not, I usually respond with a yes and then when she asks why, I utter a simple “because you’re my mom”, and no, that is not the only reason. I feel like my mom deserves a more in-depth explanation of exactly how much I do love her and why.

So here we go…

I love her because she’s not afraid to stand out and be exactly who she wants to be. She doesn’t care that everyone on the highway has front seat viewing when she attempts to dance while driving. Being different and sticking out in a crowd and in society isn’t something my mom dreads, it’s something she gladly welcomes and appreciates about herself.

I love the way she can be so unbearably upset with me or my sister one second, and then pull her phone out to show us a meme that she found hilarious the next.

I love the fact that she deals with my sister and I no matter what we do and loves us for all of our flaws, and believe me, we have a lot of them.

Inspiration 1And last but not least, I love how strong of a woman she is. My mom has been through a lot and she’s gone through life with a smile on her face 24/7. She’s dealt with two kids that push her limits sometimes but she still manages to still keep her cool most of the time.

I don’t know what I’d do without the late night heart-to-heart conversations and the constant reminder to drink water and do all that other healthy stuff.

I think I’d be lost without all the helpful guidance throughout the years and the reminder that everything is going to be just fine.

I’d go crazy if she stopped doing all the little things that matter more than anything to me. Like how she gets annoyed when my glasses are dirty, and manages to find that one little piece of paper on the floor in my room.

If I had a dollar for each time she found something on the rug of my bedroom, I still wouldn’t have enough money to represent how much I love her.

I would like to thank my mom for inspiring me to start this blog and for showing me that dreams really can (and do) come true.

Happy Mother’s Day!

I Love You Mom! 💘💖❤