Be real. Be authentic. Be YOU!

Hey guys! Long time no see?  :))))look-at-all-this-good-food-i-cant-eat Yes, I’ve been MIA but it’s been for very good reasons.

I’ve actually accomplished a lot over the past few months, and I really needed to stay focused. Blogging just had to take the back burner for some time being. I took two virtual classes over summer (and passed with A’s – go me!!!), got braces (*cries*), chopped half my hair off, and poured out chapter after chapter of a book I’m currently working on.

Yes, I’ve accomplished a lot!

I’ve also started my sophomore year in high school and it’s been pretty good so far!

Going back to school has made me come to several realizations. For example, the realization that I’m no longer the youngest in school (good-bye freshman year) and of course, the realization that the cafeteria food just isn’t very good (yep, no change there).

I’ve also discovered that I have a lot of pet peeves. And when I say a lot, I mean a LOTsharpay-meme!

They range from topics of bullying and judging others to simple things such as pouring your cereal into the bowl before pouring the milk, and making sure to never pair orange with pink when coordinating outfits.

For today’s blog post, I’d like to talk about one particular pet peeve. It’s been something that’s been on my mind for quite some time.

It’s about being authentic, being genuine.

Being real.

Now, I know a few of you are probably going “Ahem, I am indeed flesh and blood ma’am”, however, that’s not the kind of real I’m talking about here.

Being real sometimes just isn’t that easy, unfortunately. And it’s all because of the society we have created. There are so many reasons why many of us choose to not be real.

In my perspective, being “real” consists of two main qualities. These are honesty and authenticity.

keep-calm-and-be-honest#1: Honesty

Being honest is such an important quality to being real. Honesty is the setting stone and foundation for “trust” and “trust” is the setting stone and foundation to friendship.

I personally feel as though I’m being fake whenever I tell even the tiniest of fibs, things such as “no mom, I don’t have any homework,”  or “yeah, I totally took my vitamins today”. Even though honesty is something I’m still working on in certain areas of my life (I really don’t like taking vitamins), I feel like I can’t stress its importance enough.

But think about it for a moment.

If you aren’t honest, how do you expect others to be honest with you?

If you aren’t honest, how can you be a good friend to someone, or even trustworthy, towards those you care for?

To be real, you have to be honest. Honest with yourself, and honest with who you are as a person.

And if you’re unable to be honest, it’s important to take some time to figure why that is the case. Take some time to journal about it, maybe talk to a close friend or a family member about it. Reflect on your feelings and figure out why it may be challenging for you. Sometimes it just has to do with giving yourself permission to BE yourself, and allowing others to see you for who you really are. Our society doesn’t make it easy, which leads to the second quality I’d like to talk about.

#2: Authenticitysay-what-you-feel-its-not-being-rude-its-being-real

Authenticity is another important factor in being real. And what I mean by being authentic is not being fake.

I’ve become very outspoken and blunt over the course of months. Personally, I prefer not to talk about anyone behind their backs nor engage in those types of conversations (gossiping about someone). What I’m saying is, when I don’t feel comfortable around someone or I don’t like them, I choose to let that person know directly why I may be unhappy versus gossiping about them behind their backs or telling others negative things about them. In my opinion, this is the best way to be authentic, and the way I choose to do so.

And choosing to be authentic and honest (yes, I can indeed tie my points together 🙂 ) with someone is a much better feeling than being fake.  I feel like a better person, and it makes me feel good to be myself.

I do know that it’s hard sometimes because people around you – and society – make you feel like you have to be someone you’re really not. And it’s so normal these days to be indirect.

be-real-be-yourself-be-unique-be-true-be-honest-be-humber-be-happyBut… telling the truth, being honest about how you feel, and being authentic 100% of the time is giving yourself permission to be your own truth. You have a right to be yourself, regardless of what anyone says or thinks of you. I feel like these are the basics that we all expect everyone to give to us (honesty and authenticity), yet we choose to not BE this ourselves. Makes sense?

Be real.

Be authentic.

Be you! 

Don’t pretend. It will honestly make your life so much easier (I’m speaking from experience) and you’ll be a much HAPPIER person in general. You’ll feel better about yourself, and you’ll notice that you’re making a difference by simply being you.

Now it’s your turn to share. Do you consider yourself a real person? If yes, why? And if not, what exactly is holding you back? Are you afraid of being judged? Are you afraid of not being accepted for who you are?when-your-favorite-blogger-doesnt-post-on-time

Share your experience in the comments below and let’s discuss!

Until next time (hopefully soon 😉 )!

~ Rina Raj

 

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24 thoughts on “Be real. Be authentic. Be YOU!

  1. …wow! This is something I would turn in for my English class! (I’m really loving how sophisticated it sounds :3)

    Me…? Honest? Authentic? Hmm.

    I’d say yes, for various reasons.

    I would say that my honesty/authenticity reflects on my friendships: If I talk to you, smile at you, and laugh with you, then I like you. If you displease me, it will be apparent (aka, I will always refute your points/views I disagree with ).

    I tend to only seek friendships with educated and other people who are authentic.

    None of my friends feel the need to gossip about others, and neither do I.

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    1. AWE THANK YOU! (I love how sophisticated it sounds too 😉 ) I’m glad to hear that you consider yourself to be honest and authentic :), and definitely glad to hear that gossipping isn’t a part of your everyday.

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  2. I agree about being real about yourself. When I first started high school, I didn’t know the in’s and the out’s. I lost a few friends because I realized that they weren’t who they l used to be. In my opinion, at times I am real but other times I not. Sometimes when I like something and others don’t, I hold back from saying anything. I guess it’s a feeling of being rejected from others. One thing that holds me back is being made fun of or looked at a different way. But other times, I don’t care about what others think and say what I think about stuff.

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    1. I appreciate that you’re able to admit to not being “real” at times. Being accepted by others and by society is something our generation strives to do, but we really need to strive to be ourselves. So, if you accept yourself, it shouldn’t matter whether or not everyone else does. 🙂

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  3. Great job again Rina!!!

    I look forward to reading these, please don’t stay MIA too long again. And am I real? Probably not by these standards no (exhibit A the fact I chose Anonymous to write this). I am a different person for different people and can’t seem to answer myself who I am to me. I think, like with many people, it stems from wanting to be accepted. It’s tough, but I’m glad to hear your view on it, and it has definitely helped me.

    Thank you again Rina and as John Greene says, I think, keep being awesome!

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    1. Thank you!! I’ll try my best not to remain MIA haha

      Just like the comment from Josi, you don’t consider yourself “real” because you strive to be accepted by others versus striving to be accepted by yourself. Hmm, maybe I can write a post on this topic 😉

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  4. I consider myself a real person but I think I’m struggling with the authentic part. Sometimes there is pressure to buy what everyone else is buying and that might not be me. I try to stick to my self (which would be a t-shirt & jeans everyday) but sometimes I feel like I need to dress up cause I’m a girl, or wear skirts or go on my phone 24/7 but that’s not me. Pressure from other people at my school makes me not authentic. But a real person altogether.

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    1. Thanks for the comment! Like I’ve said in response to comments from Josi and Anonymous, this generation wholeheartedly strives to be accepted by society rather than trying to accept ourselves. 🙂

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  5. I love the message here, and I agree wholeheartedly. So often are people pressured into opinions that they don’t agree with and it’a becoming an issue. Personally, I’ve noticed it causing a lot of problems in my life recently because some people aren’t being honest and authentic and it’s causing a lot of tension. As for me, I like to think I’m pretty honest and authentic with myself and others. I definitely struggle a bit, especially when so many others around me are being fake because it’s so easy to fall in line. But that’s why I have my friends to call me out and be honest with me when I’m not being my true self. Definitely a great post, I love it.

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  6. Fabulous! I’d recommend people to stop wasting time going for counseling and spend that time in reading wonderful blogs like yours. After reading this I would only be surprised if someone still doesn’t learn to be Himself/Herself! Loved every part of it, certainly because it felt more like a good friend talking to you. And as mentioned in another comment, don’t even dare to think of giving up blogging, it’s in your blood, it makes you special….and being a blogger is perhaps the best way you can be the “Unique U”. I feel blessed to have come here!

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    1. Thank you so much Jothish! I try to be as inviting as a friend because I think it helps more people to relate if they can think of me as a friend 🙂 I wouldn’t dream of giving up blogging (at least not for a very, very long time). Blogging is definitely something that makes me unique and also something that helps me to keep it REAL!!! Thank you again!

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    1. Judgement, though not a great thing, is a thing and I won’t tell you it’s not going to happen, because it’s going to happen. However, I will say this. Would you rather be a fake version of yourself that other people love, or a real version of yourself that YOU love? This is something I’ve had to remind myself of recently. Yes, I want other people to like me. I’m sure you do too. But I’ve had to keep telling myself that it doesn’t matter if others like me if I don’t like myself. The hard thing to understand is even though certain people might not like you when you strive to be yourself, other people will. The day that you are entirely yourself is the day that the right people will love you. So, all in all, while people will judge you no matter what you do, the people that are truly your friends and that truly love you won’t judge you ever. So, be the version of yourself that you love. Be judged by the wrong people and loved by the right. Yes, fear being judged, but don’t let it drive your will to be you.

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      1. I do like how you see and look yourself,it’s a lovely moment when your friends appreciate you and your character,without being too judgemental to your character.more so i do like your comments so much keep them coming.

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  7. Great information Rina! I love moving articles with being authentic. That is one of my catch phrases for Travel Your Light – Be Authentic, Live Extraordinary. I always enjoy reading from people who have the same visions as me. All the bests, -J

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