For this week’s Typical Tuesday, I decided to do a Q/A blog post. I’ve received several questions and comments from many of you and so, I’ve decided to answer a couple today! 🙂
For privacy reasons, I won’t name any of the individuals who have asked these questions. I’ll use their initials instead. Here we go! 🙂
Q: I’m concerned about some of my friends. Some of them are not getting enough sleep, or eating breakfast and lunch. Occasionally they eat dinner, but when I ask why they skip meals, they say they ‘don’t feel like eating’. I try my best to help them out by sharing my lunch, but they are starting to get upset at me for pestering them to stay alive. What should I do? – I.F.
A: Wow, I think your friends are probably stressed. And I feel many of us can probably relate to this, including myself.
If your friends aren’t even remotely hungry, it could be the stress as a result of their classes, the amount of homework they may have, or a test they may need to take. It’s so wonderful of you to want to share your lunch and help your friends however, it will be difficult to help them unless they open to receive the help.
I can say from personal experience that when I don’t want help with something, and someone continues to offer the help anyway, I get seriously annoyed.
Of course, your scenario is a bit different. These are your friends and you’re obviously worried about them not eating, which would concern anyone to say the least.
As to what you should do, explain your concern to your friends and ask if they would like your help. Let them know you are concerned for them. If they choose to not receive your help, then you will need to respect their decision. Hopefully in time, they will come to you however if needed. At least they’ll know they have a friend they can count on. 😉
Q: I have a friend who I have known for about a year now and our friendship is okay at times, fun at times, and then horrible at times. Sometimes I try to keep my distance but I have found this to be impossible. She physically abuses me by hitting me in the face with textbooks, kicking me, or hitting me on the head really hard. I tell her to stop but she doesn’t. We carpool to school sometimes and I share things with her but sometimes I feel like she is a bad influence to me. The truth is, I feel uncomfortable at times. How can I keep my distance from her but still stay friends with her? – H.S.
A: Wow, it just so happens that I can relate to this. Now granted, I’ve never been in a situation where one of my friends physically abused me by hitting me and such, but I have been in a situation where a friend did hurt me emotionally.
It was basically the same concept; we laughed together, shared secrets with each other and did all of that BFF stuff, but sometimes she became as evil as Maleficent!
She’d insult me and make me feel like I wasn’t fit to be on the planet. And then the next day, she’d go back to treating me like we’re best friends. My solution was to cut her off completely. She was making me feel bad about myself and I wasn’t at all comfortable being around her. Of course I felt bad about distancing myself from her, but it helped my confidence increase and improved my mood a lot.
Your friend doesn’t seem as though she is aware of your personal boundaries, and your space bubble should never be invaded, especially if you feel uncomfortable. It’s only natural that you would feel uncomfortable about this.
Since you’ve tried telling her to stop hitting you, I’d say the next step is to talk to her about it during one of those great days you both share. Make it clear to her that you don’t appreciate the abuse and that she needs to stop. If she doesn’t respect your boundaries and continues the same behaviors, then you may need to distance yourself completely.
Sure you can remain friends, yes, but remember that true friendship comes with respect.
I hope that my answers to your questions are helpful and I will try to address more of these Q/A’s in the near future. I really enjoyed reading your questions, comments and of course, sharing my experiences. 🙂
Now readers, if you can relate to these two individuals and have some additional suggestions you’d like to share, please comment below. I’m sure these individuals would appreciate it.
Until next time!
~ Rina Raj