Being Suicidal Isn’t Craving Attention, It’s Craving Redemption

Hi everyone! Welcome to my first official Typical Tuesday blog post! 🙂

Recently, I encountered a situation involving a person very close to me. I felt the need to write about it because I’ve seen many of these situations before, and mostly all of them have dealt with people in my inner circle.

These people have felt so unvalued, unloved and unimportant that they resorted to believing that the world would be a better place without them.

it can't rain foreverSadly, I’m talking about people who are suicidal.

For those of you who aren’t familiar with the term, suicide is the act of taking your life voluntarily, or ending your life. Believe it or not, the highest suicide rates and suicide attempt rates are between the ages of 15-24, so this topic applies to teens.

Now, the first reaction that some of my suicidal friends have received when they attempted to talk to family members or other close friends about their situation was merely, “You want to kill yourself? Gosh, you’re stupid. You need to get over it . You just want attention.” This is one reason why some teens who are suicidal pretend, or think, that they’re fine.im fine

Suicidal people don’t want to end their life because they’re “stupid” or “just want attention”. They just want to stop feeling like everything is their fault and that the world would be better without them.

They want to stop crying late into the night, and feeling that sinister urge to hurt themselves.

They want to end the pain they feel every second of every day, and stop letting themselves be pushed to the bottom feeling as though they’re a “nothing”.

They want to feel important and as though people care about them. I should know having watched one of my closest friends go through this.

A few years ago, one of my dear friends was completely and utterly depressed. She felt as though no one cared about her and no one would bat an eye if she was to disappear.

i know your notShe shared that she would cry herself to sleep and dreaded waking up to go face the world the next day.

At school, she’d smile and laugh and smile some more, but no one could see past the mask and into her soul where everything was hurting and everything was breaking.

Every push and every insult from anyone would pull her to the back of her mind, where all the empty words had drifted. And they’d hit her like reality, so she’d hurt herself.

Her thought process was always that the tears would hurt more than the blade across her wrist, and that the sting was a way to get all the emotions out.

For anyone reading this, if you’re experiencing the same or feel the need to hurt yourself – please don’t do it.

There are other ways to deal with the emotions and release the pain other than embedding a scar into your skin, or taking a drastic chance. You can write about it to express your feelings, or you can seek counseling. My friend’s personal choice was writing music.

From listening to some of her music, I gathered that the depression was slowly fading and that she was coming to the point where music was becoming therapeutic for her.

She shared that her depression and suicidal thoughts slowly came to an end when her family, and a few of her friends, threw her a surprise birthday party. focus on what matters

The surprise party helped her realize that even though she couldn’t always see it, people did care about her.

When she went to sleep that night, she promised herself that she wasn’t going to hurt herself anymore. She wasn’t going to believe that she didn’t matter to anyone just because certain people didn’t care.

And even though there were always going to be others that wanted to make her feel small and enjoyed watching her break, there were supporters who wanted to see her succeed and valued her for the person she was.

In all honesty, it doesn’t matter what others think of you. All that matters is what you think of yourself. As long as you believe you are worth it, you are beautiful, intelligent and talented, you can pull through anything.

I myself have battled with depression at one point, but I’ve been able to overcome it with the right support system. Also, helping my friends get through their dark times reminded me to never allow depression to take me down that road.

I have another friend who was also depressed and suicidal and her reason was because she felt she was not beautiful. She is absolutely gorgeous by the way, but of course she was not joking and was serious about how she felt about herself.

After a month of listening to her rant and rave, I took her to the bathroom and asked her to look into the mirror.

“Rina, I just see mthe mirror can liee. And it isn’t a nice view.”

“Shut up, you’re gorgeous, but that doesn’t matter, okay? Look past your face. What do you see?”

“I don’t know what you want me to do.”

“Well, I see an awesome girl with a great sense of humor and intelligence. I also see talent. Loads and loads of talent. I see confidence, but it’s hiding way deep down in there. I see a ton of people who care about you and who love you for reasons other than your face. I see you.”

“Rina, I hope you know you just described yourself.”

*Facepalmits gonna be okay*

It took her a while to accept the fact that not only was she beautiful on the outside, but on the inside as well.

If you can relate and feel you are not pretty, or handsome…

Walk over to the nearest mirror right now. Look into it. Smile and say “Hey there beautiful (or handsome)!”

You akeep holding onre important.

You are loved.

You are valued.

You are beautiful!

You may have a little trouble seeing it from time to time but, just keep doing it. Eventually you will see that truth and you will believe it.  😉

Until next time!

~ Rina Raj

Sources:  https://www.afsp.org/understanding-suicide/facts-and-figures

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6 thoughts on “Being Suicidal Isn’t Craving Attention, It’s Craving Redemption

  1. *starts tearing up* that was beautiful Rina. You are an amazing writer, you see what’s inside of people even when they don’t. You are amazing!

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  2. Yo hey Rina so I kinda do the same thing with music. If anything is really bad I just listen to music and it’s actually really nice. I’m not her often misunderstood but when I am it hurts. So I just vent to a friend or listen to music. I hope both your friends that you have spoken about above are well and are growing in happiness! -Catt

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    1. Music is a great therapy to have, it definitely has many ways to release emotion when writing it and if you aren’t writing, then many ways to relate to it when you listen. And yes, both of my friends are currently doing amazing! 🙂

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  3. Your post was amazing! It was beautiful and thoughtful. I know that you’ve help a lot of people with inspiration. Thank you for sharing this!

    Like

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