Amy’s Summer Dilemma – What Would YOU Do?

Hi everyone! Thank you for all the wonderful comments on my last post! 🙂

Recently I encountered a situation that my friend is going through and I just had to write about it. For privacy reasons, I won’t use her name. So lets call her…. Amy.

Amy has big dreams for her future. One of the reasons Amy and I are such good friends is because we are both striving towards the same career goals.

Amy wants to become an actress and a musician. This summer she decided to become a bit more passionate about it by taking several theater camps and joining a band.IMG_1872

Amy’s parents are divorced and so her dad usually takes her most of the summer. A couple of days before school ended, Amy’s dad gave her a very difficult decision to make, and it was a huge surprise to her.

Her dad told her that he wasn’t going to take her to and from the camps, or band practice, and that she had to choose between her family (him) or herself.

Amy’s dad has never been very stable with his schedule and has been cancelling weekends as long as she can remember. So Amy decided to do what her dad always does to her.

She chose herself.

Amy feels like her dad doesn’t support her dreams and her goals for the future. After constantly telling her that she needs to show more passion towards acting and music, her dad makes it seem as though she is selfish for choosing to take summer camps and have band practices while on his time.

This is a big deal to Amy. She feels as though she was making the wrong decision and being selfish for choosing herself over her family.

But in truth, she’s not being selfish at all.

She’s following her heart, and when following your heart, it can nIMG_1875ever steer you wrong (or can it?).

Amy was under the impression that she would still see her dad on the weekends and during the weeks when she didn’t have any camps.

But boy was she wrong.

Amy’s mom received an email from her dad saying that due to the camps and his schedule, he wasn’t going to be taking Amy at all over the summer.

Amy was torn.

That night, she had a mental breakdown and couldn’t stop crying.

She was an emotional wreck for two or three days after, then she decided that she didn’t want to spend her summer in tears. She was going to make the most of it.

She scheduled longer band practices, wrote more songs and did IMG_0775whatever she could to take her mind off of it. Everything except calling her dad.

Amy is at a point where she doesn’t care anymore. She’s made it pretty clear that she’s done with the drama. She’s decided to not call her dad throughout the summer and to just take a break. The thing that shocks both Amy and myself is her contemplation of not visiting her dad for the rest of the year.IMG_1874

After being let down time and time again by her father, on his weekends, Amy’s decided that it’s her turn to choose herself.

She’s going after her dreams, with or without her dad’s support. And I have to give it to her, she’s a strong and talented girl.

Now I have a question for all of you my readers…

IMG_1873If you were in Amy’s position and had to make a choice, what would you do?

Please share your comments in the area below. Amy and I are really interested in reading what you have to share. She could really use some advice and support.

Thank you for reading my blog post everyone. I hope you all are enjoying your summer so far! Until next time!  😀

– Rina Raj

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22 thoughts on “Amy’s Summer Dilemma – What Would YOU Do?

  1. Hey. Tell Amy that everything is going to be okay and that it will all work out. Now, my parents aren’t divorce so I can’t help her with that, but I can say that you should always follow your dreams but you shouldn’t have to choose between family and your dreams.

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  2. In all honesty, I don’t think she is wrong for choosing herself. She is very mature for making such a huge decision. Some of us go many years without realizing we need to put ourselves first. As a father he is choosing himself instead of supporting his daughter. Amy , you sound like a wonderful person and your very intelligent for following your dreams. I’m proud of you.

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  3. I would follow my dreams but I would talk to my dad and try to make him understand where I’m coming from and how important this is

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  4. I think Amy has made an incredibly mature decision. A hard one but a good one.
    Parents should be responsible but often are simply older not wiser.
    Her father will be her father forever. He is part of the tapestry of her life and it’s unfortunate that he put her on that position but his unfortunate decision doesn’t need to poison her summer.
    I hope she is given a reprieve and he finds a way to be her father. If now, i hope she realizes she’s not unlovable or abandoned.
    She’s a beautiful, thoughtful, young person. I can tell french m her thoughts and actions in this trying time.
    And she has great friends!

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  5. I’m so sorry Amy has to even choose. She should never have to choose between the things she loves to do. Whether it be family or her passions. I must say I cried reading this. Amy seems to be a talented and smart girl. I hope that she continues to follow her dreams. Seems like the dad is the one missing out on all Amy’s goals and passions.

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  6. Such a difficult dilemma that Amy should never have to face…

    I agree 100% with her decision , and it must be very hard to have to choose between two of the most constant things in her life.

    Remind her to stay strong ❤

    And to never doubt her heart, for in the end, isn't that what leads us?

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  7. Amy is a very strong girl. She needs to understand that she should never feel selfish for choosing herself. Amy you are a person with emotions that need to be expressed. Take control of your life, you control your destiny, but remember make the best decisions for yourself and don’t let the decisions you make compensate for the lack of a father’s parenting. As far as not speaking to your dad, that’s raw anger lashing out, give yourself sometime and you may feel differently. Sometimes even though it may seem that a parent doesn’t understand us or support us, parents never want anything but the best for their children. I applaud you and your friend for creating this blog, it’s quite a creative way to express your feelings. Hang in there things will and do have a way of working themselves out.

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  8. Sorry that Amy has to face such a dilemma! It certainly must be frustrating and painful. From reading the story, it seems to me that Amy is having to be the grown up in this situation. While I’m not one to give up on anyone (there is always hope ) I think Amy is making the best decision for herself. Something I’ve always believed in is: when someone gives you an ultimatum between choosing them or something else (as long as it’s not harmful to your or anyone else’s mind, body, or spirit) they are essentially telling you that they are willing to risk losing you. The fact that they are comfortable with losing you in their life speaks volumes! I can’t imagine putting anyone I care about in that situation, let alone my own kids. I think Amy is very mature for her age {of course I wouldn’t expect anything less from a friend of yours! ;)} and is making the best decision she can for herself. It’s always sad when you don’t have the support of someone you love, hopefully she has her mother’s. Now I know there are always two sides to any story and I dont know the father’s situation, but considering the history though, I feel Amy should pursue her dreams and if it’s meant to be. . . he will come back into her life (hopefully not when she’s rich and famous! ). Final comments to Amy: stay strong honey, focus on the positives, and don’t let anyone tear you down! It’s ok to hurt and cry (that’s how we grow) but dust yourself off and face the new day focused, full of love, and beyond all else with a thankful smile for all the good you do have! xoxo

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  9. I feel like Amy is a very strong girl to make that decision. If I was her I know I would make the same decision, it is always right to follow your heart. I hope Amy is feeling better. She shouldn’t let something like that ruin her summer. I do feel like she should still speak to her father, but I respect her feelings. Take some time to think about it Amy and enjoy your summer. I’ve also experienced similar situations to you, so your not alone.

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  10. It’s a terrible thing when parents get divorce. It changes the dynamic of the family forever. More times than often both the parents and the children feel like they are in competition for love and affection. Some time the kids feel they are being left behind by the parent that is not the primary. Never-the-less the orginal family is destroyed.

    As a parent myself, I see how it effects my son when his father does not support his dream of playing collage basketball. I see how it makes him feel when he knows that his dad is not even going to attempt to come watch him play. His emotions are all over the place. One day he wants to prove to him that no matter if he decides to support him or not he will make it, and other days; he’s ready to quit because he wants the love an attention of his father and he feels he’s not getting it because he is not doing what his father wishes.

    As I observe the dynamic of their relationship and the relationship that my son and I share I feel that it’s our JOB as parents to nurture and support the dreams of our children. It’s our job to give you kids hugs and kisses even when they say leave me alone. It’s also our JOB to provide reason and be mature about whats going on in everyones life. We are supposed to be the wise ones, the ones that should make the sacrifice for our kids happiness.

    I regret that Amy was put in this situation. The only thing I know is that in life you have yourself and yourself alone to depend on. Amy showed strength, determination, resilience and courage by making that decision. The qualities displayed in making this decision shows that she will turn into a person that will command what here future will be. Please tell her to continue to be mature and not to stop speaking to her father. That will not solve the problem it will bring more emotional issues.

    The true sign of maturity is when someone hurts you, and you try to understand their situation instead of trying to hurt them back.

    Sometime in life we have to accept people the way they are and learn to not let their decisions or mood dictate how we feel. Tell Amy to keep striving for what she wants and never let anyone interrupt her focus.

    “The question is not who is going to let me; it’s who’s gonna STOP me!” – Ayn Rand

    Hope this provided some insight.
    Keep strong!
    Raquel

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    1. Thank you so much for your comment! Amy is doing much better now, but I’m sure she’ll be thrilled to have a similar situation to look to during the tough times.

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